Humor: Cousin Junior helps with some online research | Lifestyles

Is bad grammar sexy? According to a study, it is safe.

Browsing the interwebs without that pesky safe search, I came across an article from Yahoo! Life with this title:

“Spelling mistakes can be sexy?” A study shows that men prefer dating profiles with bad grammar.

The article said it was a four-minute read. I had a little time to spare between angry phone calls from people who weren’t getting their papers, so I took the plunge.

First of all, I don’t know about online dating profiles. Call me old school, but I’ve kept my courtship rituals to the traditional southern lands of county fairs and family reunions.

Still, I wanted to know more about those potentially sexy misspellings I’d heard so much about since clicking that link.

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“A study found that men prefer women with poor grammar and, surprisingly, are slightly less attracted to well-written profiles,” the Yahoo article said. “In fact, survey results from the ProWritingAid platform showed that men who date were 10% less likely to initiate a connection.

“This is in stark contrast to women dating between the ages of 18 and 34, who were 300% more likely to opt for a romantic suitor who had made no grammatical errors.”

So if that’s true, in its simplest form, women are from Venus and like good grammar and men are from Mars and don’t like good grammar.

As an investigative journalist, I wanted to put this theory to the test. And there was no better way than to bring out the old Cousin Junior, who perhaps only exists in my imagination.

I remembered the other day when I was at the hardware store and met Cousin Junior in the nail gun aisle.

“How are you, Junior?” »

“Pretty good. Hey, I went to one of those online dating sites. It’s called It’s kind of like, except it’s for UK barbers to meet women.

“You are not a barber and you are not British.”

“Damn, I know that. But once I put them on the hook, they are bound to fall under my spell and my craftsmanship.

“Where did you learn the words ‘savoir faire?'”

“I am international these days. I watched some of them French art films on the internet. Damn it !

Impersonating two of Cousin Junior’s potential victims – I mean dates – I logged on and replied to his profile:

Mr. Junior: In addition to my love of 17th century British poetry, I have always been fascinated by the tonsorial arts, the snips of the scissors, the buzz of clippers and the intoxicating aroma of the many tonics that line the walls in mirror. .

I got my doctorate. in creative writing from a small liberal arts school in a quaint town that was home to not one, not two, but three hair salons listed as must-visits in Frommer’s travel guides. Anyway, I look forward to our future correspondence. Sincerely – Daphne.

What’s up, Junebug!!! I was trying to look up pictures of Bob Barker and I kind of typed in barber and there you were, you look pretty cool. Tally ho! You kinda look like my third cousin Boodie who took me to the county fair after the family reunion but got sick on the tilt-a-whirl and was later diagnosed with COVID but he’s fine now cause he took a bunch of Metamucil and it washed him off.

Anyway if you want to go to Myrtle Beach in August contact me and you can stay in the back of the truck as we have an RV. Keep it between the ditches – Darlene.

We’ll see who Cousin Junior responds to after his hand heals from the nail gun accident.

Hollifield is the editor of The McDowell News in Marion, North Carolina, and a humor columnist. Contact him at [email protected]