Humor

HUMOR: TOP 10 REASONS KEY WEST IS NOT FEELING PRICE PAIN AT THE PUMP

As economists and consumers await the expected spike in gasoline prices given the

recent sanctions on Russian oil imports, we in Key West are a bit more cynical and jaded about high prices at the pump, mainly because we’ve always paid more than most.

This week, we are offering…

Top 10 reasons why Key West isn’t feeling the gas hikes at the pumps…

10. We have already paid record numbers for the last century. So it’s not new.

9. Some are still too focused on the price of wood to care about the price of gasoline (most of them have never bought wood).

8. My scooter runs on battery power – and on people who dare to step on “my sidewalk”.

7. My martini always costs more than five gallons of gas.

6. My $90,000 SUV gets two miles per gallon. But I drive it five miles every month.

5. I don’t care about gas prices in Key West. Although I vote in Key West, I only live here three weeks a year.

4. I have drilled my own oil in Rockland Key for the past five years.

3. I don’t buy gasoline, because I’m better than you. I thought my Tesla said that to me.

2. I make six figures a year on an illegal vacation rental. Why do I care about gas prices?

1. Look, if a guy in red running shorts can carry a huge American flag for 30 miles every day, I guess I can walk a little more too.